On Sunday I stopped at Mom & Dad's to wish my Momma a Happy Birthday. Here's a transcription of a conversation between me & my Dad. Please note there are two versions. The one I heard & the one that really happened.
Setting: Dad is in the dining room. I'm in the next room talking to Mom. The three doggies - Tundra, Molly & Ginger - are all begging for me to pet them.
Dad: Careful with Mommy. She already drew blood this morning!
Me: What?!?? (Assuming my dad is kidding, because her birthday is Halloween & I figure he's making some Dracula joke. I turn around and he holds up his finger with a bandaid on the top where she bit him! I got up and went to the dining room to talk about this event.)
Dad: I reached down to give her some food and she bit me! You know how she can't see up close anymore, right?
Me: No - I didn't know that?
Dad: Yes, you did. Geez, I told you a hundred times (rolls eyes). Anyway, she must not have known my hand was right there and she bit me.
Me: (insisting in my head that my dad is nuts because he never told me mom can't see up close, but decided to let him win this one. I am also wondering why he was reaching down to hand feed my mother? He's not THAT tall...?)
Dad: I worry about her with Stevie's kids, ya know? (my dad has always had dry humor, and his frankness is cracking me up at this point).
Me: (playing along) Yea, seriously. Dangerous. (I walk back to the couch in the next room and I hear my dad still talking about it, mentioning something about milkbones. I get up, walk back into the dining room as I realize what has just transpired and say...) wait...Dad...did you say
Molly? Oh my God you did. I thought you said "Be careful around
Mommy"! This whole time you are telling me this story, I'm wondering why you're hand-feeding mom and when she started losing her sight!! I just figured you were joking about her being born on Halloween & being like Dracula!
FIN.
I think my parents are STILL in tears from laughing.
