BLAST FROM THE PAST

GRANDMOM

THE BEST COKE COMMERICAL EVER.

COUSINS RULE!!!!!!!!!!

Awww...... It's bitty Bri

I'm not really sure who this guy is or who the baby is but.............WHY IS HE HOLDING HER LIKE THAT???!!!

This picture really disturbs me.

About my post

Ok, I don't know why but the pictures are in reverse order so you are seeing the last shots first. Anyway I tried my best. We had a GREAT time in FL and can't wait to go down when those babies come!!!!!!!

Debbie's Shower

IF YOU HAVE TO PEE GO BEFORE READING!!!!

A Cop buys a Taser for his Wife
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing!

I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

O, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) but thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

*****WARNING******

EMPTY YOUR BLADDER BEFORE PROCEEDING

*****WARNING******

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY CRAP. . . MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my gonads and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.

Addison

Just wanted to share the photos of Addison. She getting So big and is a little jabber jaw. Her favorite question now is " What's that?"

FUN IN CANCUN

Well we've been back for a few weeks but I'm finally getting around to posting our 30th anniversary trip to Cancun. We had a great time!!!! Cancun is the one place that I can say when we're flying back home I'm planning our next trip. For those of you that haven't taken advantage of Donna and Quentin's Palace Resort vacation deal, you're really missing out!! The weather was a little cool (70's) so we didn't go in the water (except on the speed boats which were a blast!).

Here's some pics:

They delivered an Anniversay Cake to our room on our first night there, which was great. However, we were sound asleep when they came knocking on the door. I guess they don't have too many people sleeping at 11pm but we were exhausted on our first day there.

Here's Dave....the monkey in the tree!

Oh yeah!! Just kidding on climbing that tree!

This is one of the swim up bars at the resort. Who is that crazy guy in the water???....TOO COLD!

Wow! They did say all inclusive......But I thought they'd have cans or bottles!

We had a great time on the speed boats.

You just have to love these helmets we wore on the ATV's! They were a lot of fun too.

More photos from the Philippines

Hi Everyone. Here are more photos from an outing we had yesterday to Escudero Estates. You will see us being pulled by a Caribu, eating lunch in an open restaurant in bare feet at the base of a waterfall, and enjoying a beautiful show of Filipino dancers. Unfortunately, all of the photos of the dancers came out blurry with Gerardine's camera but we got a good photo of the drummers at least. Miss you all. I'm also going to try to put on a priceless video of a two year old's rendition of the Our Father.

Much love,

Linda